Louisiana: a state of Menopause

This morning started out muggy. Louisiana mornings usually start out muggy, but this one was muggy and seemed as though the mugginess just sat. Stagnant. That's annoying. Ok, so this morning was muggy. This afternoon was sunshine...Yep, sunshine and springtime. Thought I'd go ahead and mow the weeds, blow off the driveway and begin springtime prep. Now, us here in the south get this yellow-spore-death-crap called Pollen. Also annoying. See, whenever you decide to venture outside and breathe, even slightly, this pollen gets sucked up your nose, takes the elevator to your chest, eyeballs and brain and camps out. You can't breathe, you can't see straight, and your brain starts to feel as if it's deteriorating. This afternoon, between clients I did yard work and now I want to die. It's that simple. Happens that fast. My yard attire consisted of a ball cap, celeb-jumbo sunnies and a dental mask...so I basically mowed my yard lookin like your average, everyday bank robber. Sketchy.

Now, after the morning mugginess and the afternoon pollen dust bowl, the sky felt bad, so it decided to rain. Well, see here's the thing about pollen: there is no good news. When it rains, it just dispurses the spores or something and apparently kills you quicker. I'm quite convinced that my life expectancy just deteriorated a good 6 months. The one good thing about it *raining* though is the fact that anyone Louisiana hostage...I mean resident, knows that when the rain comes the weather changes. The boot state is in a perpetual state of menopause. It rains, a cold front comes in, then we have a hot flash, then we  experience a freeze-out and the whole darn state shuts down, only before yet again, rain comes and brings the yellow-spore-death plague...SOMEBODY GIVE THIS STATE SOME HORMONES!! Sheesh!

Aside from all that, I come inside, plop down on my death bed and my air conditioner starts making loud noises and ceases to function properly. I think I need a vacation.

Old, Fat and Stupid

It all started at Amanda's. I blame Amanda. (No, not really, but you get the gist). 

It's been YEARS since I had played on a Wii, and this past weekend I was at Amanda's and she asked me to dance. On the Wii. I never thought I was cool enough to dance on a Wii before, but I sure as heck wasn't passing up the opportunity! It was a blast! 

That's why I blame Amanda. 

That next morning I went over to the big house (aka mom-n-dad's) to take THEIR Wii off their hands- brought it home, hooked it up, boom...I was 20 again. Well, eventually those games got boring, so went to Walmart to pick out the Dance game. This was so exciting! I had never in my LIFE bought a video game before! Wasn't til I came home, opened it up and slid it in the DVD slot that I realized I had done it wrong. Apparently games with "WiiU" have no working qualities in a plain-jane Wii. Poot. 

Well, here comes the meat to this dish. This morning I had every intention of marching my butt right back to Walmart and exchanging it for something I figured WOULD feed my new obsession. Lady at exchange told me to go to lady at electronics. Ok, no big deal, right? WRONG. Boy, was I wrong. 
FIRST OF ALL...this woman couldn't have smoked any less than the past 40 years of her life, and she was as kind as she was pretty. With the most "you're-wasting-my-time" look on her wrinkly face she exclaimed "You can exchange this for the exact same game, but you opened it, so no refunds." 
Me: "I'm sorry, I've never done this before, and I had no idea this wouldn't work for my particular console." 
The Hag: "Well OBVIOUSLY it has a 'U' on there, so you ain't gonna be able ta use it." 
Now, this woman was about one eye-roll away from makin' a little Baptist cuss, so I took the stupid game from her hands and walked off. 

How humiliating.

*I JUST WANNA DANCE DADGUMMIT!*

So, this afternoon I was determined to make things right one way or the other, so per request of a client, I ran over to Game Exchange (genius, right? Why didn't *I* think of that? Oh yeah, because I was a dumbass who didn't know a "U" from a hole-in-the-ground. Right.)
Anyway, walked in, explained how I had never bought a game before and apparently did it wrong, so I needed an exchange. Cool. Decided on the WiiFit. Hey, right up my ally. Got the foot pad and game and headed back home. I had another hour before my next client, so I thought I'd set it up and give this one a shot. 

Here we go...

It worked! Hallelujah! Started on the body tests....which were kinda confusing, but I got through them. At the end...after all I had been through...after all the stress, and humiliation...this thing calculated that my body was overweight and I had the balance and coordination of a 40-year-old. 

EXCUSE ME?!?

Ok, so let's recap:
1. I'm stupid because I don't know how to buy a video game.
2. I'm screwed because I can't exchange it.
3. I'm old because I have no balance and coordination.
4. I'm overweight because my BMI is SOL. 

Think that about covers it. 

Look, I make "fat girl" jokes about myself because I think they're funny, but when you're standing on some battery-powered "Fit pad" and you actually see the word "overweight" on your stats, spit gets real. 

If anyone needs me I'll be in my house sittin, drinkin a coke on this here dern "fit pad." 

Confessions of Betty Crocker's alleged step-child

I am no chef. My mother was as close to a professional chef as anyone else I was related to...and that says a lot! I guess growing up, I never really felt the need to try my hand in the kitchen too much, unless it was to clean up. Even then....good luck with that! Anyway, my little sister got the culinary skills. And the body. And the smile. And the brains....and my brother makes awesome fried rice....but this, for a change, is about me.

It's been almost 7 months since I've moved into my house. Since that time I've had wood floors put down, helped pick out furniture, paint colors, and even a mount for my deer I shot this past January...on top of paying bills, starting and terminating a personal business mistake known as the "cosmetic catastrophe." A real "Financial Failure at it's Finest..." Yeah, that was rough. On top of ALL-A-DAT, I've had to spend some time in the kitchen. (feel free to "boo.") Thankfully, though, I've had very few, minor mishaps. Tonight was a success, I think. I made a sweet potato dish with vanilla, butter, heavy cream, and even added a little cinnamon and sugar for my own touch. Serving with cool whip.....and ta-daa! Dessert! We'll see how the staff likes it tomorrow at our Thanksgiving lunch. I'm a little nervous. Satchel liked it...so that's one stamp of approval! If the staff likes it tomorrow, I'll make it for the fam. Not sure which group is gonna be better at lying to my face, so this outta be interesting!

If I've learned anything growing up about cooking...wash the dishes right then! Don't wait til the morning, or that next week. Junk sticks! Then it's a pain in the hoo-haa to get out! So, right now I'm just sitting here while the dish washer runs, about to throw some wet clothes in the dryer and call it a night. Tomorrow's a big day for these smushy sweet potatoes, and I have to be on top of my game!

Positive, Productive Perspective

There's always an awkward phase of life.....starting at age 13. When you reach junior high your hormones are all out of whack, face breaks out, can't talk to boys, the whole bit. Then high school...no date to prom, mad because you didn't make homecoming court, tripped on the football field, the whole nine yards (yes, pun intended). College...you're learning who you are, who you want to be, and better yet...who you DON'T want to be. Then your friends start getting married and you don't. They start having kids and you don't. It can make your head spin when you think about it too hard.

I have a more positive, productive, if you will, method of thinking. Sure, I have to continually remind myself, but it's getting to be second nature. See, I just bought a house a few months ago. It's probably the biggest "permanent" move I've ever made, so needless to state....I'm excited about it! I'm fixing it up with much-needed help from mom, and even had a housewarming last weekend where I quickly learned that I cannot fit more than 25 people in my house at one time, but I digress. While most of my friends are getting married, buying houses, cars, and raising a family...I'm doing all this for ME. Now, I haven't completely lost all hope of possibly having a family of my own down the line, so this time I have to myself, I'm gonna TAKE. I'm seizing every opportunity I can. In April, I went skydiving in Tallahassee right after I bought my house, I got to start buying furniture all by myself, I started my own Mary Kay business last week...all by myself, it's actually been very good! The good Lord also knows things could get lonely living in a house all alone, so He brought me Satchel, my tabby :) He's pretty much my pal! All of these blessings I am looking at as my "Me Time:" an extended period of which I am entitled to do and act as I please. Selfish? Certainly not! Both of my jobs are centered around selflessness, which has taken me straight to the chiropractor, but regardless, this is just time I can spend not having to check with anyone before I pick out bed spreads or floor lamps. I'm really enjoying it, actually.

So while my precious friends are making their way towards grandkids, I'm making my way towards buying myself a jeep again :) Maybe one day I'll be driving my 2-year-old in that jeep, but for now, I'm going to soak up the moments and embrace the possibilities. Leib deine Traume!

My first home sweet home!

I signed on a house today!! This is by-far the biggest step I've ever taken on my own! Of course I'm not COMPLETELY on my own...but I'm going to signings, meetings and appointments by myself. Mom and Dad are here if I have personal questions, and my real estate agent and mortgage broker are here to make sure I don't fall flat on my face. Thank God for them!
When I tell people I have no furniture....I really don't even think I have SPOONS! Sure, I have my bedroom stuff, but that's one room in my whole house. MY house :) I love saying that! Now, I've got plenty of friends and family wanting to throw house-warmings and poundings....so I'm not too worried about it I guess. The good thing is I'm going to have money left over after my down payment and the little bit of my closing cost I have to pay. At least I won't be starting off with NOTHING.
I feel like such a grown-up! This is a big deal for me...and stressful....yet I know it's going to be worth it! God has definitely been apart of this process, of that I'm positive! These past 3 days have been a light work schedule, so I've had time to meet with people, sign what needs to be signed, etc. Yesterday mom found a Kenmore washer/dryer set at Rolling Hills thrift store for $50 each! Really?!?!?!? That doesn't just HAPPEN. Work has provided me with plenty of moving boxes, too. Everything has been falling together nicely so-far. Now, these next 30 days are gonna be long and probably stressful, but I've got a timeline from my agent being e-mailed to me today, so at least I'll have an idea of what needs to get done when. I'm so excited, nervous, scared, and blessed!!

Ich lerne Deutsch.

11 months ago, for some ungodly reason, I decided I wanted to learn German. To be honest, the reason I wanted to learn in the first place was because of the Goldfinger version of "99 Red Balloons." I always laughed at the German part because the words sounded funny. Well, one day I actually looked up what those words meant, and they made me laugh. From then on, I've kinda fallen in love with all that "hacking and gaging" in the language. It's funny, but I really feel like there is some deeper reason, other than just infatuation, that I'm supposed to learn this stuff.
It's kinda fun learning a language that not many people (at all) know in this area.....but on the other hand, it kinda sucks because there's nobody to converse with. I bought a Rosetta Stone back in April and I haven't turned back since. There were a few weeks I spent about 3 hours a day on the program! One of these days I would love to go to Germany or Switzerland, but for right now, I just want to learn for myself. And my future dog.
Yeah, one of these days, after I buy a house, I want a Weimaraner. I'm going to teach him German commands. I'd like to just speak German in my home...and kinda talk to myself all day long. I know that sounds a little crazy, but the more I speak it the faster it will sink in....and I gotta talk to someone. It's a dream, so we'll see...but as for right now, I'm still learning.

Sports analyst

Today my brother hit the first home run of the season as a Senior at Cedar Creek, and Tuesday pitched an entire game only allowing 3 hits. Now, to say I'm proud.....is the understatement of the year! I'm beyond elated!! Here's the conclusion I came to over this: Mallory, Lane and I are TOTALLY different!

I played golf in high school and college. Now, I played piano and sang too, but golf was my main sport. Mallory was the straight-A homecoming queen, cheerleader, and captain of the cross country team. Lane=baseball. He's a big hunter, but baseball is his sport. Mal and I did sports that were either not spectator-friendly, or she was cheering on other sports. Lane is really the only name between the three of us that's cheered FROM the stands. Tuesday night I noticed a lot of Cedar Creek fans cheering his name. That really hit me.

It's pretty rare that three siblings in one family fill in each other's "gaps" like we do. In high school we would go to baseball games to see Lane play, football games to see Mallory cheer, and at least mom would go to some of my high school golf tournaments....but she mostly came to my college rounds. This may not seem like a hill-a-beans to anyone else, but I'm an analyzer, and stuff like this intrigues me.

Yeah, it sucked not getting to the game in time to see Lane's bomb over left field fence, but I'm so pumped for him! This is his last year to play high school ball, and really our last year to have any Cox kids at Cedar Creek, so I'm trying to soak up every last minute of it I can. Life's really too short to blow off ball games.

Frankly, my dear...

Growing up my mamma would always tell me the best way to begin to feel better is to get dressed up, put on some makeup and look better. Well, that's what I did today. Honestly, the only thing I got out of it was a few compliments, but I still felt empty. Church was kinda rough. I couldn't sing, couldn't really get into the Sunday School lesson, didn't talk much, and definitely wasn't as affectionate as I usually am on Sunday mornings. Then I got back home and started cutting out recipes from my People magazines. RECIPES!! (This is SO not me!) I think all day today has been an out-of-body experience. Days like this are few and far-between, but when they hit...they usually hit pretty hard.
I believe it was Elizabeth Taylor who said "Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick, and pull yourself together." This is pretty much what my mother is saying to me (minus the drink, of course). I do love her for it, but I'm not one to put my makeup on to go to the grocery store. I've never been one to "gussy up" on a regular basis...so when I do spend a little more time on myself it does make me feel a little better for a while. Who doesn't enjoy compliments?!? I'll admit...I'm a bit vain.
God's gotta help me get through this, because nobody else has seemed to really do that. I think I'm gonna stop talking to people about my problems altogether, except for maybe my therapist. Everybody has their opinions and life experiences they've shared, but to quote Red "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn." This is my life, and Lord knows I'm trying to make the most of it. To do this, I've gotta have the right kind of guidance. As much as I love my friends and family, I'm keeping my personal life personal from now on I think. So there.

Hurry up and wait.

Have you ever felt like something in your life is meant to be permanent, yet life throws a curve ball and makes you wait for it? I hate having to be patient! Pretty much my whole life has been laid like bricks in front of me. Not many people can say that. I definitely recognize that fact as a true blessing in my life. What sucks is when something comes along that I really have to be patient and WAIT for...there lies the pigments of my "true colors." I know I'm meant to have this...why can't I have it now? Yes, I'm blogging about it, praying, and talking about it with pretty much every one of my girlfriends, but it still doesn't change the fact that I have to continue to ask for patience every second of the day!

Today I got my permanent lipstick redone...so I pretty much look like I have SUPER dark lipstick on...and my lips are pretty swollen, so I'm going to be doing my best to stay out of society this week. I do have some continuing education stuff to work on for my LMT renewal coming up at the end of the year, but it's probably not going to take me ALL week. :/ I wish this situation at hand would go ahead and resolve itself, but I know in my heart that if it is to resolve the right way, that it's going to take time. Sucks.

At least the weather is nice this time of year! Yesterday I ran 8 miles. I think I'll be ready for my half marathon in Vegas in 2 months at this rate! The amazing part is...I'm not even that sore this morning. Usually after a long run like that I'm falling on my face getting out of bed! Maybe the fact that I stayed in the hot tub for 3 hours afterwards helped. Maybe.

Well, here goes what will hopefully be a productive week!

"Houzz" it going?

Today's been one of those days when I despise being a female! For some reason, the Good Lord blessed me with a double-dose of "woman problems" once a month. I was pretty much in bed 'til 6pm...talk about a drag! On one hand, it was nice to kinda have a day to chill out, but on the other hand...kinda sucked big-time as far as the pain I was in!
Besides the fact that I did catch up on some rest, one other good thing came out of my sick day: I planned my house. Now, I'm not buying for another 6 months at least, but it's never too early to start planning, right? A friend of mine introduced me to Houzz app for my iPad. Oh. My. Gosh. I have spent the entire day today on that app...looking at furniture, drooling over houses, and picking out wall colors and window treatments. I pretty much have my entire house planned to a tee!
I'm big into modern homes - never been into Southern Living or Pottery Barn...I don't want to walk in my own house and feel like I'm going to break something if I breathe wrong...and I hate gardening and cooking. Those are the "biggies" in both those magazines, so no thanks! My housing magazine of choice would have to be DWELL. Love it! Anyway, this Houzz app has a ton of cool modern homes and designer decorations. I've had the best time just scrolling through and wiping drool. Can't wait to have my own place!!!

Summer Sweep-away: Bath Junkie Edition.

About 2 weeks ago I decided it was time to clean my bathroom...and by this point, it was more like PURGE my bathroom. See, usually I do this kind of thing once a year. Nope, it's probably been a couple of years now. Sad.
Well, anyway, I got to work. I cleaned out every stinkin' drawer, wiped it down, threw half the contents away, then organized what was left over very neatly back in that clean drawer. Then....I ended up in the cabinet above the toilet. You know the one...with all the shampoos, bubble baths, lotions, etc. Yeah, this is where my story gets interesting.
You see, both Mallory and I have shared a bathroom growing up. Since we've gotten older and periodically moved out of the house, we would come back, bring our bath junk, and usually end up leaving it. Both she and I would also buy some bath product, see a commercial for something better on TV, and buy that without finishing what we started using in the first place. We're just girls like that I guess.
During my purge I counted (are you ready for this? Sit down.): 15 shampoos and conditioners, 13 lotions, 6 bubble baths and body/face scrubs, 4 foot creams and 2 self-tanners. ...and go ahead and throw in the partridge in a pear tree for cryin' out loud! Yeah.
So I'm now on a mission: No buying anymore bath crap until the crap I've got has been used up! It's probably going to take until next Fall, but hey...I'll be saving money, right? This past week I used the last tiny bits of a couple of my shampoo/conditioner sets and a small B&BW lotion bottle: Moonlight Path. It's probably one of my favorites...even though that store can sometimes give me the stink eye. Whatever. Right now I have so much stuff on me I could slip-n-slide a la carte down a gravel road! No joke...

Word to the wise woman: USE YOUR BATH JUNK BEFORE IT BECOMES JUNK!

Dead Horse

Lent.

In the Catholic practice, (I single-out Catholics because it is the most widely known religion that practices what I'm about to elaborate on...) forty days are supposed to be devoted to prayer, reflection, almsgiving and sacrifice in the name of Jesus...called Lent. These forty days are between Ash Wednesday and Easter Sunday. This is a time of gratefulness and gratitude for the ultimate sacrifice made by Jesus Christ. Well, that's what it's supposed to be for.
Now, I'm not Catholic. ...just throwin' that curve ball right now before I continue. I am, however, a Christian. Jesus Christ is, indeed my Lord and Savior. With that said, here's what I think about Lent: We're not only screwing things up MAJORLY, but we're essentially "beating a dead horse." (Please excuse the use of a very bad analogy right there.) I don't practice Lent. Never have, probably never will.
We as children of Christ are supposed to strive to act like Christ, am I right? Well please, for the love of God, tell me where in the Bible Jesus partied it up with his "homies," got slap drunk off his butt, passed out, then decided the next day that it was time to make His sacrifice? WHERE??? This brings me to another point...sacrifice. Jesus made the ultimate sacrifice when He brutally died on the cross for our sins, correct? That was to be the "war to end all wars," so-to-speak; the final point to free humans from our ever-bounding sin. Then why, pray tell, are we still thinking we have to sacrifice? Yes, I understand that this is tradition. It's symbolism. It's humbling, humiliating, selfless...ok, ok. ...except for the fact that it's not selfless. What we are really doing is showing God how "great" we are because we gave up cokes for over a month. Get Real! Why are we trying to revert back to the ways before Salvation? Why beat a dead horse?

Eastern sunset

All signs point east. East opens to opportunities: few limitations. The sunrise will always dress in light shades of peace and welcoming. The song of the young mockingbird will always be heard. Hold out your arms to me, oh east. My heart longs for your direction without judgement, failure, consequence, or regret. May east be my heart's end destination, but my soul yearns for west. Sunsets, end of rainbows and potential; look west with a sigh. Was this direction painted a facade to lure my conscience? Am I to always yearn for west? Shackles are found a calm invitation to the trying days ahead. Manipulation lies prostrate to my feet like a beautiful doormat, yet I am the one trampled upon. Few have gone west. No one has sought west and found serenity. No one has called westward and been answered satisfaction, so why is it I want this misadventure? 
My infatuation for this direction has manifested short of a decade. Small gestures and faint whispers fill my mind with hope and promise of a good life west, but the truth has never favored my sway. So which way will my hand reach when my soul is east yet my heart is west? My eyes are torn, but as luck would perch on my sunken shoulders, I still have two: One for east and one for west. So until the day the south seas wash me yonder or the north winds carry me away, the sun will still set in the west and rise in the east. With the sun I must rise.

Facial Reflexology

Facial Reflexology. Now that's a term not heard everyday, especially in Louisiana. Here in Colorado, though, it seems to be a pretty rampant practice. I have grown up in a family of doctors and nurses...so learning about all these natural remedies for anything from illnesses and diseases to skin care is a slight stretch. Let me tell you something though...I love this stuff! No, I'm not going to move to the mountains with a dog named Duke (totally stole that idea from a guy friend-of-mine) and swear off makeup, Botox and Brazilian Blowouts (which I am in love with!), but I do believe that there is a place for natural healing in the world. I believe that in this week in Denver learning about Facial Reflexology, God is at work in a mighty way. Honestly though...I have to constantly guard my thoughts and intentions. See, my human nature wants to heal everyone for my own satisfaction and glory. That's a load of crap. I'm learning to humble myself before my Savior's hand everyday here. It's difficult. It's intense. It's fantastic!
The practice of Facial Reflexology is triggering reflexes in the body by manipulating points and meridian lines in the face for the purpose of un-blocking energy flow and naturally beginning to heal any physical problems or ailments. It's a mixture of Ayurvedic, Oriental, Chinese, Vietnamese, South American, as well as other influences drawn into a type of healing touch. Pretty big stuff, huh. Yeah, I've got more knowledge crammed in my tiny, little brain from the past 4 days than I care to spit out right now. I'm definitely going to be studying and practicing for a while! I do love the fact that this knowledge is being presented in a strictly medical stand-point...and I work for a fabulous physician who welcomes natural healing with open arms! I freakin' love my job!! :)

Bride of Christ: A Colorado revalation

I'm in the middle of reading "So Long Insecurity" by Beth Moore. It's been brutal, wonderful and challenging all at the same time. I love those kinds of books. Sure, Nicholas Sparks will always hold a special place in my heart for his sappy love stories, but sometimes I need to read a book that is going to stimulate my spiritual growth rather than my tear ducts. Through this Beth Moore book, I've been convicted of so many insecurities that are hinderances to my walk with Christ...but one issue that has me in a hangman's noose is, well, love. That darn four-letter word. Recently I had gone through a stage where I felt like I was unworthy of it. From anyone.
To make a LONG story short, I got hit in the face during a sermon this past fall. Who am I to put myself in a box like that? I think my first blog was actually about this issue. Anyway...I'm in Denver for a continuing ed. class right now, and I couldn't have a better roommate for a trip like this! I believe God has the power to show whoever He wants ANYTHING He wants WHENEVER He wants....but believe you me... this was great timing to hit ME between the eyes. My sweet roommate and I were discussing the feelings of unworthiness of a physical/emotional relationship, and she (being MUCH wiser than I) re-introduced me to the notion of us as Christian women being the brides of Christ. Sure, I had always heard that in the Bible, but did I really pay attention? Nope.
Think about it for a minute, single ladies. When Christ was hanging on the cross dying, He was thinking about you. He was DYING. For you. He was the ULTIMATE gentleman. Yes, I understand that I just compared Christ to the other dumb "gentlemen" in this world...but He really is the epitome of what a man should be. Guess what?? He chose YOU as His bride. He wants to be apart of you and you apart of him. No other man on this earth can EVER love you like He does. Guess what else..? He's got a mansion waiting for you when it's your time to come home to him. :) Wow! Praise Jesus. He resurrected from the grave to show you that He conquered death for you.
I'm not saying that men are scum. Sure, some are schmucks, but we're all human. Personally, I don't think any guy is gonna be good enough for my sister, nor do I think any little "pop tart" is gonna be right for my little brother...yet I tend to fall for the jerks/punks/rejects/spiritual-stumbling-blocks. I know that Christ is looking at me just shaking his head saying something like "My child, don't you know that My love for you should be enough?"

The ABC’s of the Christmas holiday: light-hearted

A- Afghan. Best moments in life are spent snuggling.

B- Bows. Ya gotta put somethin’ on top of all those boxes!

C- Carols. Come on, this is the only time you get to sing those Christmas songs.

D- Decorations. Duh! It’s Christmas!

E- Egg nog. Long winter nights, fireplace roaring...wouldn’t be complete without egg nog.

F- Family. You may not like it, but blood runs deeper than water, my friend.

G- Gifts. Believe it or not, it’s NOT just the thought that counts.

H- Heaters. Them tootsies gonna get froze in that deer stand without one!

I- Icicles. Don’t walk under ‘em. 

J- Jelly. ...because I really wanna poke Santa’s belly and see if that’s what comes out!

K- Kay Jewelers. Dumbest commercials in all of television this time of year.

L- Lights. Go outshine your neighbors.

M- Mistletoe. Overrated. 

N- Naughty or Nice. Well...?

O- Open. Boxes under the tree are pretty, but it’s what’s IN those boxes that make things exciting on Christmas!

P- Packages. Presents. Parcels. Exciting!

Q- Quest. Everyone’s looking for that perfect gift. 

R- Remote control Hummer. Maybe this year...

S- Snow. Please! Just one year give us a white Christmas!

T- Tree. Decorated. We’ve got 9.

U- Unite. Each year over Christmas, friends, families and loved ones get together to celebrate the season.

V- Vests. It happens every year. SOMEBODY wears the tacky Christmas vests. 

W- White Christmas. Classic film! -a holiday must-see.

X- Xmas. X is greek for Christ. Don’t be ignorant. Look it up.

Y- Yule tide. NOT Roll tide!

Z- zzzz’s. With all the excitement, try to get some sleep this season.

Struck down but not destroyed

Sick in bed today. Dumb. Get this though...Advil, bananas, Goldfish, Poweraid, water, Thieves, Suphedrine, Argentyne 23, and 4 different Sprayologys are being used in the making of a healthier me right now. Working for a Doc is pretty much a guarantee that if, on the off-chance you actually DO get sick, you won't be that way for long.
Jr. year in college my Psych professor told our class that the best way to get over a sickness is to bore the bacteria. See, bacteria love to be active and have a life just like we do. When we are active, they start dancing, bouncing around and multiply like crazy! If we stay in bed, drink nothing but water and watch daytime television, then they will get bored with your sorry self and hit the road. Now...I know you're rolling those eyes, but her point, though a tad on the loony side, is valid. It's better to be out of commission for one day than try to "tough it out" in utter misery for a whole week or two. Look, the best way to stay healthy is to take care of your body. It's the only one you've got.

Responsi-freakin-bility

Lately, I've been a big advocate of having responsibility. Freakin' own up to your issues! Life's too short to dance around what needs to be done.

Now...before this gets too far, here are a few things that I am NOT saying in this post:

1.) Don't have fun.
2.) Never live "in the moment."
2b) Never suddenly change your mind.
3.) You are not allowed to make mistakes...because Lord knows I'VE never made any...(psh)

With that said, yes, I was 19 once....and 20....but whatever. Those were definitely the days of irresponsibility. The thing is, I still got through college, and I still had my goals. My decisions at 19 and 20 never reflected too harshly on the rest of my life.

There are just certain things in life that should be done. Pay your bills. Try (oh for-the-love-of-God TRY) to live among your means. Do what you say you're going to do. Set goals...and actually strive to reach those goals! Look...life is exciting. It's fun and full of adventures. Don't miss out on an opportunity just because of lack of responsibility!
I really don't mean for this to be anything but motivating! Strive for excellence in whatever you do! Carpe Diem. Get-r-done. Go Jo!

Braces Glasses Crutches.

When I was in Jr. High/High School I went through this phase where I wanted to be a dork. Braces, Glasses and Crutches. Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking.... Then the 'braces' request was granted in 7th grade. THAT ended up being more of a pain-in-the-butt (or should I say in the MOUTH) than I bargained for. Not to mention the 2 oral surgeries that came out of it, but whatever. I have yet to have crutches. Thank. God. ...but today I got glasses.
Now, they're just reading glasses, but it's still an adjustment. Sure, they're exciting because they're new, but eventually they're gonna just get old. Don't get me wrong...they're way cute! It just seems like they're going to end up being just another thing I have to carry around - another small reason to need a big purse.
I'd been having these bad headaches in the back of my head around my occipital bone. (That's the base of your skull, fyi). Well, for a while I thought it was just when I was on my iPad. Then, I gradually began to realize it might be stemming from my eyeballs. Since I barely passed the vision part of my driver's license renewal process...thought maybe I outta give the eye doctor a shot. Ha. So here I am, on my computer, trying to get used to having four eyes. Don't worry. I'm wishing MYSELF luck.

Appreciative Presentation

I'm a Massage Therapist. That does not require a college education- not even a community college education! All you've gotta do is have at least taken the GED and be at least 18 years of age. Check and check.
I went to college because I felt like I had to. All of my friends were doing it, so I should too. The fact that I got to play golf for my education was an added bonus! All throughout those four years of hel.....I mean classes...I got a feel for what information I was going to use in the future because I knew I was going to Massage Therapy school afterwards. Anatomy, Physiology, Biology, Chemistry...as yuck as 3/4 of those classes were, I needed them. I tried to pay attention and learn as best I could. It was the English classes and the History classes that I pretty much BS'd my way through. Little did I know that I was actually going to USE this knowledge for my CAREER!
A couple of weeks ago my boss presented me with an opportunity to speak at a Lunch-n-Learn to a Healthy Women's group that I suddenly found myself in the predicament of putting together a speech and powerpoint presentation on Massage Therapy. Well, in college, and even high school, presentations were usually done in a group. Each group, though they may be nervous, always knew that there was another group nervous as well because they were going to have to present next. If not, those groups were usually nervous about how their presentation went over with the teacher. Well, I'm the featured. (If that sentence doesn't make that much sense...it's because I really didn't know how to use "featured" and "me" in the same context. I'm the one speaking. To everybody. Yeah.)
Believe it or not, I'm kinda excited about this. I'm speaking on something I'm passionate about, and I get to educate women on the importance of this alternative medicine that is Massage Therapy. Putting this powerpoint presentation together was actually a breeze. As much as I hate to admit it, because let's face it, everybody's got some pride...I'm appreciative of all those damn presentations. They really pulled through for me on this one.