Growing up my mamma would always tell me the best way to begin to feel better is to get dressed up, put on some makeup and look better. Well, that's what I did today. Honestly, the only thing I got out of it was a few compliments, but I still felt empty. Church was kinda rough. I couldn't sing, couldn't really get into the Sunday School lesson, didn't talk much, and definitely wasn't as affectionate as I usually am on Sunday mornings. Then I got back home and started cutting out recipes from my People magazines. RECIPES!! (This is SO not me!) I think all day today has been an out-of-body experience. Days like this are few and far-between, but when they hit...they usually hit pretty hard.
I believe it was Elizabeth Taylor who said "Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick, and pull yourself together." This is pretty much what my mother is saying to me (minus the drink, of course). I do love her for it, but I'm not one to put my makeup on to go to the grocery store. I've never been one to "gussy up" on a regular basis...so when I do spend a little more time on myself it does make me feel a little better for a while. Who doesn't enjoy compliments?!? I'll admit...I'm a bit vain.
God's gotta help me get through this, because nobody else has seemed to really do that. I think I'm gonna stop talking to people about my problems altogether, except for maybe my therapist. Everybody has their opinions and life experiences they've shared, but to quote Red "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn." This is my life, and Lord knows I'm trying to make the most of it. To do this, I've gotta have the right kind of guidance. As much as I love my friends and family, I'm keeping my personal life personal from now on I think. So there.
